


your hands can heal (your hands can bruise)

by dumbdario



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Headaches & Migraines, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Moving In Together, Past Suicidal Thoughts, Post-Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, References to Depression, Sickfic, Smidge Of Angst, Vomit Mention, i'd typically hc roy as having migraines but my hands chose to type ed so here we are, the last 3 are very brief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:02:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29294100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dumbdario/pseuds/dumbdario
Summary: Ed has a migraine. Roy takes care of him.
Relationships: Edward Elric/Roy Mustang
Comments: 5
Kudos: 76





	your hands can heal (your hands can bruise)

**Author's Note:**

> lmao ignore the second half of the title i was just listening to that song while i wrote
> 
> i wrote this because i have zero inspiration for my other fic, but i looooove sickfic and i love roy taking care of ed. i also love ed taking care of roy, so i might write that next hmmm
> 
> i myself have never had a migraine, but my dad and sister get them somewhat often. ive taken a lot of their symptoms and put them in here, along with some stuff that i know from nursing school.
> 
> title from Poison & Wine by The Civil Wars

Roy glances over his book at his lover. Ed is curled up in an agonized ball, lying on his left side and facing the back of the sofa. They've been together long enough for Roy to recognize this position- Ed has a migraine he refuses to admit to.

Well, it's a good thing he doesn't need to ask for help in order for Roy to give it. Edward is the love of his life, and Roy will be damned if he let's him suffer alone and in silence.

In the interest of sparing them both an unnecessary argument, Roy has forgone pestering Ed into laying in their cool, dark bedroom. He can already hear Ed's response- _no, I'm fine Roy, really. I just really like this sofa and contorting myself into a pained pretzel, duh._

No, getting Ed to take care of himself will take a different kind of tactic. 

Roy sets down the text on advanced alchemical theory he had been skimming, absently noting that his relationship with Edward has ignited other passions in him. Striving for a better future had left little time for pursuits of the mind. He hadn't realized how much he missed this part of being an alchemist until he was knee deep in a discussion with Edward about how alchemy is changing with the advancement of technology, and Roy found he couldn't quite keep up. That just wouldn't do, and he's been making strides to fix it ever since.

Ed doesn't react to him setting the book down, nor to his polite yawn-and-stretch. This migraine progressing faster than Roy had previously thought. He stops playing coy and makes his way over to Ed's motionless form. 

"Let's make our way up to bed, Edward," Roy begins, as he rests his hand on Ed's right shoulder as gently as possible. "It's getting a bit late."

It's a testament to how much pain Ed is in that he doesn't even point out the clock clearly displaying the time as 6:45pm. He just slowly begins to uncurl his body and sit up. His feet land on the floor and his head lands in his hands, a pained groan escaping despite his best efforts. 

Roy's hand has migrated to Ed's high ponytail, and he begins to pull it free. The tension on his scalp almost certainly isn't helping the pain in his head. Roy has paid enough attention to Ed letting his hair down to notice the slight sigh of relief he gives every time. Ed always runs his fingers through the loose strands, massaging his scalp and wincing as he does. It's really no surprise that Roy has noticed these details, as watching Edward let his hair down is one of life's greatest pleasures.

Ed mumbles a quiet _thanks_ into his hands once his hair has been released fully from it's binding. Roy makes a soft noise in return, sliding his hand from Ed's scalp to his back and urging him up. He wants to get Ed tucked in and asleep before the migraine has a chance to really get going. Edward with a full-blown migraine is heartbreaking to see. Although Roy has never seen him cry (as his vision was gone on the Promised Day), the pain in Ed's head is incomparable and unbearable. He cries and sobs until he begins to gag on his own post-nasal drip, and the gagging leads to vomiting which in turn worsens pressure in his head. 

Once, Roy had asked what Ed's migraines feel like. Ed's description made him very grateful that he himself wasn't prone to them. 

_Roy and Ed are lying down in Roy's bed after what had been a long day for both of them. It's only around 8 o'clock at night, but neither of them is in the mood for anything more than what they're doing now. Between obligations, friends, family, and work, they rarely have the time to just chat with each other._

_Tonight is one of the rare ones- Roy had completed all of his reports on time, despite having several meetings throughout the day. Ed's client had to cancel their 6pm appointment due to an unfortunate bout of food poisoning, and he was home several hours earlier than planned. All of the stars aligned to give them a much needed evening alone together_

_Ed was cooking them a simple dinner when Roy arrived home from work at 6:30 sharp. The unexpected sight of Ed so at home in_ his _home filled his chest with something warm, especially when he wasn't expecting to see him at all tonight. The key Roy had made for him is being put to good use, certainly._

_"Hey! That douche canoe cancelled on me literally when I was walking out to meet him, so I decided to head over here instead," Ed says as he stirs what looks like tomato sauce in a pot on the stove. "I still have to see his dumb fucking face tomorrow though, so that blows. How was the office?" He asks as Roy, turning away from the stove to send him a bright grin._

_Roy feels his chest warm a few hundred degrees. "Surprisingly, it wasn't completely awful despite being a Monday. The meeting with Major General Mercer went off without a hitch. He agrees that establishing trade with Creta would be very beneficial for Amestris indeed," he sidles up behind Ed as he speaks, wrapping his arms around his waist. Ed leans back into him, and he's stirring the pasta now._

_"Huh, I kinda thought he'd disagree with you on everything, even if it is 'for the good of Amestris'," Ed makes air quotes with one hand, the other still holding the wooden spoon._

_"Luckily for both Creta and me, he can see reason. If reason happens to be profitable enough," Roy agrees. A glance over Ed's shoulder shows that the food is just about ready._

_He lets go of Ed and grabs plates out of their assigned cupboard. Forks, spoons, and glasses follow, and he brings his hoard to the table. This domesticity makes his heart flutter in a way he's never felt before. To be fair, this is the longest relationship he's ever been in, despite being 35 years of age. His previous record was a 4 month dalliance over a decade ago. He thinks this should perhaps make him sad, but all of those roads have brought him and Ed together, and that could never bring him sadness. Not when Ed is the most beautiful part of living._

_They eat their dinner and migrate to Roy's study after washing up (Roy washes, Ed dries. Even though it's been years since the Promised Day, Ed's right hand still becomes almost painfully sensitive when submerged in water for too long. As it's an activity he gets to do with Ed, Roy finds he doesn't mind being the permanent washer)._

_About 30 minutes go by while they read and chat in his study before they both decide they want to turn in for the evening. Roy changes into his pajama set that Ed likes to tease him for, then heads to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. Ed is in the midst of brushing his teeth when Roy joins him, and Roy's heart jolts as they stand side by side while performing their nighttime routine._ This is what marriage looks like, _he thinks. This isn't the first time Roy has considered marrying Ed, but it is the first time that he understands what being married_ means.

_They both will still live their own lives, do their separate work. But at the end of a tiring day they will eat together, and talk the bad things out, and fall asleep beside each other. Ed will always be there to brush his teeth next to him and hog the covers, and Roy will always want to learn new things about him. Ed has known for quite some time that Roy's main ambition is to become Fuhrer, and he hasn't even hesitated to stay by Roy's side._

_Roy puts all marriage related thoughts to the side for now. He and Ed have been seeing each other for a little over a year now and although he knows he wants to marry him, he wants to do this right. For all intents and purposes Ed has moved in. The only times he doesn't stay over are when he has late appointments. Still, Roy wants him to move in before jumping straight to getting married. Of course officially living with Ed won't deter Roy from his plans for marriage, but he wants Ed to know exactly what he'll be getting into if he says yes (oh, Roy hopes he says yes. He prays to a god he doesn't believe in that Ed will say yes when he proposes. He refuses to entertain the thought that Ed won't even accept the offer to move in, once it's been made)._

_Ed goes to the bedroom while Roy finishes in the bathroom. He quickly finishes his quotidian tasks before following. Ed is already settled on his side (the right side) of the bed when Roy comes in, reading what appears to be a letter. He sets it to the side when Roy climbs on to the mattress and under the covers._

_"Don't stop reading on my account. I can wait," Roy says while gazing at his beloved. Ed makes no move to pick up the letter and rests his head on the pillow, lying on his side so he's facing Roy._

_"It's just the letter I got from Al a few days ago. He put an equation in there that I'm pretty sure is actually a riddle. There's no way I can write him back without solving it, he'll never let me live it down," a grin belies Ed's annoyed tone. Roy knows he really loves the fact that Al can needle and challenge him even from a desert away._

_"Give him my regards when you do write back, please. So, other than your_ wonderful _6 o'clock appointment, how was your day? You had an early meeting with the McGowan twins, correct?" Roy asks, though he knows the answer is 'yes'. He always listens when Ed speaks, tries his very best to be present and attentive._

 _"Ugh, don't remind me. Why are all of my clients such creeps?_ Don't _say it," he warns with a finger in Roy's face._

_Roy goes cross eyed while looking at the finger. "Don't what?" He tries._

_Ed is having none of it._

_"Don't say what I know you were going to say about my level of creepiness and how it relates to my clients," Ed says firmly, though his lips are twitching._

_"How dare you imply that I would ever call the light of my life a creep," Roy puts a hand to his heart, the very picture of affront. "How dare you imply that_ I _would_ date _a creep."_

_Ed's eyes narrow for a split second before closing completely as he bursts into laughter. Roy grins, eyes steady on Edward's lovely laughing face._

_"Then there would be two creeps in this relationship! We can't have that," he manages to say between snickers. The affronted expression Roy just dropped comes back full force. Ed continues snickering for a good while longer, before it fades to a smile as he looks at Roy._

_The two of them gaze at each other for a decent amount of time. It's so nice to have someone who he can just peacefully exist with. Although Ed has always been bold and brash, he enjoys his quiet time a fair bit. Certainly more than Roy had ever believed him capable of in his youth._

_He can feel the words bubbling up, and he doesn't even try to stop them._

_"Move in with me," Roy says, and proceeds to plead his case before Ed can respond. "I love coming home to you. I love washing the dishes with you, and reading in the same room as you, and teasing you. I want you to fall asleep beside me, even when you have a late client. I want to wake up beside you as often as possible. I love you so much, Edward," he says. "So much."_

_Ed's eyes are glimmering and his mouth is twisted in the way it does when he's trying to keep his lips from wobbling. He opens his mouth, hesitates, then closes it again. This is not quite the reaction Roy had expected, hoped for._

_Ed's mouth opens again, and this time he speaks. "I love you too, Roy, of course I do. But... I don't think this is a good idea," Roy's heart sinks further with every word, and he tries to keep it off of his face. "If I move in, then there's no escape. I mean, I have really bad days. And when I feel them coming on I can just stay at my apartment. But if I_ live _here, you're kinda stuck with me, y'know? The nightmares, the automail pain, the migraines, all of it. I don't want you to feel trapped."_

 _Roy is speechless for a few long minutes. His emotions are warring inside of him, joy that he is not the reason for Edwards hesitation- and extreme sadness as well. He is sad that Edward, the most brilliant and beautiful and kind man he knows, thinks that Roy doesn't want him during his bad days. The truth is that Roy wants him during_ all _of his days, good and bad and ugly and sweet. He wants to be with Ed when he's crying in pain and when he's laughing with joy. He wants Ed even when he's teasing and mocking and genuinely angry._

_Ed has been here through some of Roy's worst days and he hasn't left._

_"Edward, please listen to me. You have stayed through some of my most gruesome nightmares. You stayed with me when I nearly charred you to a crisp while asleep, and you comforted me after while I cried. Despite the fact that_ you _were the one almost killed, you comforted me. You are so kind to me, kinder than I deserve. There is no such thing as a day where I don't want to be around you. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Roy tries to meet his eyes, but Ed keeps his chin tilted and his eyes hover around Roy's clavicle._

_"You don't get it Roy. After the Promised Day, when I first lost my alchemy but Al was on the mend, I was... I don't know. A shell of a person, totally apathetic. Al and Winry couldn't even get me to turn over in my bed. Even Granny Pinako couldn't force me to eat or move. It was awful, I've never felt like that before. Not even when our mom died. I didn't care if I lived or died in that bed. What if that happens again after I move in? I can't make you deal with that," Ed finishes, sounding so very unhappy._

_"This isn't something I often discuss, but there was a time after Ishval where I was in much the same state as you described. I briefly contemplated turning my revolver on myself, I didn't feel I deserved to live after what I had done. The atrocities of the war were all I could see, even when I was back home. The only thing that brought me out of it was my decision to take action instead of wallowing in self pity. The point is, Ed, I understand what you went through. I will understand if it happens again, and I will be here for you until you feel better. I promise," Roy puts two fingers under Ed's chin and he gives a gentle nudge._

_Ed looks up, and his eyes are dripping. He doesn't respond verbally, but brings both palms to Roy's cheeks to draw him in. Once their foreheads touch Ed's eyes close, and a soft sigh escapes. He sniffles a bit and re-opens his pretty golden eyes._

_"I can't believe you were almost gone. Just like that, if you hadn't been able to bring yourself out of it, you would've been gone. Please Roy, if you_ ever _feel like that again, please tell me. Come to me. Even if you're only a little bit sad, I want to be there for you always. I love you," Ed sniffles again and a few more tears escape his eyes. Roy's own are beginning to feel suspiciously wet._

_"Is that a yes? Will you move in with me so we can take care of each other?"_

_Ed nods. Roy's heart begins beating again._

_Once they regain their composure they begin to talk softly. It seems they have both decided the details of Ed's move can wait until tomorrow._

_Roy remembers something Ed had said while trying to convince Roy that he shouldn't move in. "I didn't know that you were prone to migraines. Do you get them often?" He asks, and Ed begins to talk. He tells Roy that the migraines began shortly after he saw the Gate, and they hadn't stopped with the return of Al's body and his own right arm. When Roy asks, he starts to describe what it feels like._

_"It's this horrible pressure that gets worse and worse, like my head is in a vice. I know one is coming before the pain even starts. It's like the second I wake up I see flashes of light every time I move my eyes, and I have no appetite. That's how Al can always tell when one is coming on, because it's so unlike me to not eat. Then it's just like... the pressure doesn't stop and my whole head throbs until even my teeth hurt. I can't get anything done because the only thing I can focus on is the pain and how much I want it to stop. Back when we were trying to get Al's body back it was even worse because it just felt like wasting time. No matter what I tried, the pain wouldn't go away. Eventually we realized that they cleared up faster if I just stayed in the dark dorm alone while Al went to the library."_

_Roy listens closely. He intends to notice the signs going forward. Al isn't here to do so, and apparently Ed has been hiding at his apartment when this happens._

_"How long do they last?" Roy hopes they don't last too long. He's sure that one of Madame's girls had a problem with migraines. They lasted for days at a time._

_"Usually only a day. If I'm lucky maybe 12 hours. I think the worst one lasted two days, but that doesn't happen often," Ed says. He seems resigned to this discussion of his health. He knows Roy well enough by now that he knows this won't be dropped._

_Roy continues to ask questions, and Ed continues to answer._

Ed crawls onto his side of the bed and collapses under the covers, a puppet with it's strings cut. Roy adjusts the blankets around him to a more comfortable position, then heads down to the kitchen to snag a glass of water. He grabs the painkillers out of the medicine cabinet before returning to their bedroom. 

The glass makes a soft _thud_ as he sets it on Ed's night stand, and Ed groans lowly. Roy apologizes in a hushed tone and moves to close the curtains. That done, he turns back to face the bed.

The painkillers are gone and the glass is half empty. Roy will leave it there for Ed to drink from during the night. As quiet as he can possibly be, he strips off his clothing. Deciding that the wardrobe will be a touch too noisy, he resolves to sleep in his boxer-briefs tonight. He's fairly sure that Ed won't mind.

He settles on his side of the bed (the left side) without jostling Ed too much. Ed doesn't like to be touched too much during his migraines, it's sensory overload for him, so Roy lies down with his back to Edward to stave off his desire to hold him close.

It's quiet for a long while, and Roy is starting to drift off when he hears Edward speak.

"Thank you, Roy. I love you." 

Roy smiles and finally rests.


End file.
